Let go

Letting go what you treasure is hard,
Letting go the ones you love is harder,
Letting go grudges may be the hardest.

But,
Is it not true,
That there's a time for everything?

Forgiveness may not come easily,
It may not come suddenly,
It may take longer than usual.

Yet,
Slowly. But. Surely,
When you choose to move on,
It. Will. Come.

And when it does,
You will be glad,
To have made the right choice.

So,
What then should one do-
While forgiving?

'Just keep holding on'
'Just keep pressing on'

Inspired by Ivan Handojo- 'Pada Waktunya'

Wait

-By Russell Kelfer-

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taunt,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and please you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, you dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still... Wait."

My shelter, My strength

Your love is overwhelming, it pulls me through the wilderness.
Your faithfulness amazes me, it kept me strong.

Though I fell, fall, and will fail you time and time again,
your mercy and grace pick me up.

You endure my complaints,
Your sustaining love and trust in me kept me running for you.

When I reflect about you,
I realized one thing -
Without you, where would I be?
Without you, life is nothing.

Thank You,
for staying with me, being there for me.
Thank You,
My shelter,
My strength.

I choose you

The pain in my heart, no one can understand.

The worries and burdens.

No one can fathom.

Carried around by my tired soul, weigh down my aching heart, endless drops of tears.

It is easy to say that I don’t care.

It is easy to say, whatever.

But my heart is bound by this ‘limb’.

If only, if only the solution comes quickly.

‘If only’ are words that is plain easy to say than to believe.

Feel like giving up.

Feel like quitting the race.

Feel like ‘what the heck’.

But,

life is not to be controlled by our emotion, nor logical senses nor common sense.

It is controlled by our choices.

Therefore, I choose to remain standing strong.

I choose, today, to be faithful even when I am surrounded by chaos.

I choose, to stay strong in You.

I choose. You.

Thank You for Your strength in me.

Pieces of heart

My heart was whole,
till I met you.
You've torn it apart,
again and again.

When I contacted you,
it is not because,
I am desperate,
not because,
I like bugging you,
not because,
I like clinging to you 24/7,
not because,
I am a fool.

It is simply because,
I miss you,
is because,
I need to hear from you,
is because,
I am curious of what you are doing.

But,
you have given me false hope,
killing my heart,
breaking it to pieces,
when I found out the truth.

If only you can see through my heart,
and calculate those times you belong there,
experience those time I lost thinking of you.

It shall all stop from here henceforth.
Your treatments left a scar on my heart.
Your responses awaken me like a slap on the face.
I have enough of your empty talks,
endless so-called 'friendship'.

Sometimes I fear that this broken heart of mine cannot be healed,
because of you,
who has dominated it,
scared it,
and hurt it...

But,
Don't worry.
One day,
these pieces of heart that is still left will be healed.
Life will move on,
it has already move on.
Because,
I am letting you go...

Goodbye.
(Dedicated to a friend in pain)

to save a life

Journey to Malacca Part II: We are stronger than this

And so, after the accident, we stood as one and protected each other in every way that we could. No pointing of fingers, no complaints, no murmurings, no excuses. The first thing that 2nd car victims came down was to ask 3rd car victims if all were ok, and vice versa. God's peace was within us somehow to know that we are in good hands. We will pull through no matter what.

We did not withdraw our plans in the retreat. Why? Because we cannot give in to the wish of Satan who hope to see us disappointed. The fourth car who left later saw us, they were shocked, but ferried 3 of us quickly to the nearest KPJ Seremban Hospital for checkup. It cost us half-a-bomb, but for that amount of cash compared to our safety, it was nothing really.

As for the rest, they waited a long wait for the towing of cars to the police station. They made their report and by the time they finished, it was almost 5am when they arrived Malacca. Thank God for helpful and concern leaders and members such as Shirley, Anthony, Eng Kim and Jeffrey, who drove all the way down at about 11pm-12am to make sure we were okay.

As for the road-accident 'hunters' the one who cheated us RM600 to tow 2 cars for a short distance, they stayed all night long with us in the police station, trying to convinced us to let them fix the cars. When Shirley came, she 'interrogated' them. However, the more they explain themselves, the deeper they dig their own graves. God bless them.

As for us, we stayed and had fun in Malacca. No regrets for all. We had cendol, chicken rice, photo shootings, bubble-blowing, etc etc. Indeed our ever first retreat is a a life-transforming retreat.

A testimony: Still in smiles, hours after the accident.