While I'm waiting - John Waller

By John Waller (2009)

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I am hopeful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it is painful, but patiently I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I'm waiting, I'm waiting on You Lord
And I'm peaceful, I'm waiting on You Lord
Though it's not easy no, but faithfully I will wait
Yes, I will wait

And I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

I will move ahead bold and confident
I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah

While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint

And I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You Lord

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting

To do list

Have you ever try...to count how many times you inhale, and exhale in 10 seconds?to teach your dog how to sing?to balance yourself by standing on one toe?to cook a decent meal for five in 5 minutes? (maggie being excluded, in fact, any edible stuff with the word 'instant' is not included)to finished all your food without speaking a word to anyone?to not utter even 1 word in a day?to not sleep for 24-48 hours straight?It may seem seemingly nuttish even to read the above list. Yes, it is appropriate for those who have nothing better to do.A better list: Few things to do before dying with graceParachutingFlying to the moonCamp in the dessertSitting inside an air-balloonSky-divingClimb Mount KKVisit Disneyland Park in CaliforniaVisit Korea's largest church, and their prayer mountainSkiingKite flyingVisit North Pole- find Santa.........(should be updated constantly)

Let go

Letting go what you treasure is hard,
Letting go the ones you love is harder,
Letting go grudges may be the hardest.

But,
Is it not true,
That there's a time for everything?

Forgiveness may not come easily,
It may not come suddenly,
It may take longer than usual.

Yet,
Slowly. But. Surely,
When you choose to move on,
It. Will. Come.

And when it does,
You will be glad,
To have made the right choice.

So,
What then should one do-
While forgiving?

'Just keep holding on'
'Just keep pressing on'

Inspired by Ivan Handojo- 'Pada Waktunya'

Wait

-By Russell Kelfer-

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taunt,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and please you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, you dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still... Wait."

My shelter, My strength

Your love is overwhelming, it pulls me through the wilderness.
Your faithfulness amazes me, it kept me strong.

Though I fell, fall, and will fail you time and time again,
your mercy and grace pick me up.

You endure my complaints,
Your sustaining love and trust in me kept me running for you.

When I reflect about you,
I realized one thing -
Without you, where would I be?
Without you, life is nothing.

Thank You,
for staying with me, being there for me.
Thank You,
My shelter,
My strength.

I choose you

The pain in my heart, no one can understand.

The worries and burdens.

No one can fathom.

Carried around by my tired soul, weigh down my aching heart, endless drops of tears.

It is easy to say that I don’t care.

It is easy to say, whatever.

But my heart is bound by this ‘limb’.

If only, if only the solution comes quickly.

‘If only’ are words that is plain easy to say than to believe.

Feel like giving up.

Feel like quitting the race.

Feel like ‘what the heck’.

But,

life is not to be controlled by our emotion, nor logical senses nor common sense.

It is controlled by our choices.

Therefore, I choose to remain standing strong.

I choose, today, to be faithful even when I am surrounded by chaos.

I choose, to stay strong in You.

I choose. You.

Thank You for Your strength in me.

Pieces of heart

My heart was whole,
till I met you.
You've torn it apart,
again and again.

When I contacted you,
it is not because,
I am desperate,
not because,
I like bugging you,
not because,
I like clinging to you 24/7,
not because,
I am a fool.

It is simply because,
I miss you,
is because,
I need to hear from you,
is because,
I am curious of what you are doing.

But,
you have given me false hope,
killing my heart,
breaking it to pieces,
when I found out the truth.

If only you can see through my heart,
and calculate those times you belong there,
experience those time I lost thinking of you.

It shall all stop from here henceforth.
Your treatments left a scar on my heart.
Your responses awaken me like a slap on the face.
I have enough of your empty talks,
endless so-called 'friendship'.

Sometimes I fear that this broken heart of mine cannot be healed,
because of you,
who has dominated it,
scared it,
and hurt it...

But,
Don't worry.
One day,
these pieces of heart that is still left will be healed.
Life will move on,
it has already move on.
Because,
I am letting you go...

Goodbye.
(Dedicated to a friend in pain)

to save a life

Journey to Malacca Part II: We are stronger than this

And so, after the accident, we stood as one and protected each other in every way that we could. No pointing of fingers, no complaints, no murmurings, no excuses. The first thing that 2nd car victims came down was to ask 3rd car victims if all were ok, and vice versa. God's peace was within us somehow to know that we are in good hands. We will pull through no matter what.

We did not withdraw our plans in the retreat. Why? Because we cannot give in to the wish of Satan who hope to see us disappointed. The fourth car who left later saw us, they were shocked, but ferried 3 of us quickly to the nearest KPJ Seremban Hospital for checkup. It cost us half-a-bomb, but for that amount of cash compared to our safety, it was nothing really.

As for the rest, they waited a long wait for the towing of cars to the police station. They made their report and by the time they finished, it was almost 5am when they arrived Malacca. Thank God for helpful and concern leaders and members such as Shirley, Anthony, Eng Kim and Jeffrey, who drove all the way down at about 11pm-12am to make sure we were okay.

As for the road-accident 'hunters' the one who cheated us RM600 to tow 2 cars for a short distance, they stayed all night long with us in the police station, trying to convinced us to let them fix the cars. When Shirley came, she 'interrogated' them. However, the more they explain themselves, the deeper they dig their own graves. God bless them.

As for us, we stayed and had fun in Malacca. No regrets for all. We had cendol, chicken rice, photo shootings, bubble-blowing, etc etc. Indeed our ever first retreat is a a life-transforming retreat.

A testimony: Still in smiles, hours after the accident.

Journey to Malacca Part I: Protected by Him...

Before 17th June 2011, we prayed 'Father Lord, please let our cell group's relationship grow tighter and recharge our spirits with Yours during this retreat.'

He came through our prayers.

***

It was through the accident on 17th June 2011 (Friday), that we realized, our relationships are far more than just being a cell group. We are a family, here on earth, and into eternity.

It was truly by His mercy and grace that we are saved.

I believed, just like how Satan petitioned for Job's life, he did so for ours as well.

But God is not done with us. All ten of us have not fulfilled His destiny for us in this lifetime. Our short life is not enough to achieve His purpose of our creation.

The devil wish to come and kill, steal and destroy us, but instead God turn the incident into a life-changing transition point for each and everyone of us. None of us return with the same attitude we had towards life before. Indeed God is our deliverer who set us free from the bondages of the evil ones.

The accident:
3 cars involved. The first car was a set-up. He and his partners planned to create an accident to earn money from towing cars. How could humanity gain profits by hurting their own kind? Unbelievable.

How did we know it was a set-up? Seconds after the accident, a man appeared from nowhere, with a 'convenient' walkie in his right hand. Suspicious? Wait till you read the rest of the incident.

He came and give us his name card and persuade us to let him tow our cars saying how good his tow truckers are. The main point is, minutes after the accident, Ann tried to take a picture of the first car, but he came with a concern voice saying 'Oh, please go in, you may get hurt on the road...' preventing her from taking the picture. When the police arrived, he disappeared with his car. All his car gotten was a loose bumper. And he looked way too calm to be involved in an 'accident'. After his act of disappearance, the walkie guy said 'Oh..he gotta rush to Johor.' Er, excuse me, who are you walkie-guy? A bystander who is ever so 'kind' to help us? But hello? We are the victims here, why did he inform you and not us?

Anyway, our car got hit with a massive impact, since 5 of us were in the 3rd smallest, buttless car, the collision hit us the hardest. We did not have enough distance nor time to stop.

Sitting in the middle back seat, Grace's face was half-numb which she hit into the front seats, and the seat belts snubbed into her stomach, Annie's back was hit and her respiratory organs were disturbed. I was sitting so straight due to the compactness of the behind seats, that all I've gotten was a hit at my shoulder and neck and a scratch on my toe. The only blood in this accident came from my toe. Ironic. But thank God, we prayed before departing. After the prayer, all three of us, who normally don't wear seat belts at the back seats, wore it by Grace's conviction to obey the law, and God's Graceful pre-warning~ If we have no seat belts on, we may have flew and kiss the windshield. What's more? Thank God, no car came and hit our Viva from behind. If it did, this post will not be here. And Thank God, our driver Ben, hit the breaks real hard before colliding into our cell leader's car in front, the middle car. 3rd car's engine was not affected by the accident. If it did, Ben and Sherlyn...

3rd car :















As for the 2nd car, the front and back was so squashed. It looked like this :

Behind every mind

BEHIND EVERY MIND

(A COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS : THINKING and AS A MAN THINKETH )

“It’s all in the state of the mind.”

-Walter.D.Wintle (late 19^th-early 20^th century)

"Mind is the Master power that molds and makes”

-James Allen (1864-1912)

In this comparative analysis, two poems will be analyzed. The first is ‘Thinking’ written by Walter.D.Wintle, follow by ‘As A Man Thinketh’ composed by James Allen. Little is known about Wintle the American poet except he lived around late 19^th century to early 20^th century. Nevertheless, he is renowned for his poem ‘Thinking’ which is also titled as ‘The Man Who Thinks He Can’. As for James Allen, he was an English author who wrote a number of books until his death in 1912. Although Allen died at a young age of 48, he had contributed literary works that transmitted across space and time that still influences our society today by his 19 inspirational works. The reason why ‘Thinking’ and ‘As A Man Thinketh’ are chosen here is because of the philosophical message that they hold. The deeper meaning behind every word that was written behold secrets that are told yet not reveal to those who has seen it for they were unaware of it. Thus, this analysis is here to not just enlighten readers but to be studied in a reflective manner. Furthermore, what one reads portrays what one is. The ‘food’ we feed our souls reflects through the ‘inputs’ we supply. Hence, our mind is a map of the journeys we travelled and the future trips we are to tour. For this reason, these poems were selected for its impactful meanings of human’s mind and how it affects our lives in all areas. As what Lao Tze declared ‘Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is Enlightenment.’ Let this be the basis of why we should all the more investigate and scrutinize our own thinking through the messages hidden in the poems. The themes of both poems are essentially about the beliefs of our minds, and how it could bring forth encouraging and endangering thoughts.

Thinking

If you think you are beaten, you are If you think you dare not, you don't, If you like to win, but you think you can't It is almost certain you won't. If you think you'll lose, you're lost For out of the world we find, Success begins with a fellow's will It's all in the state of mind. If you think you are outclassed, you are You've got to think high to rise, You've got to be sure of yourself before You can ever win a prize. Life's battles don't always go To the stronger or faster man, But soon or late the man who wins Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN!

By Walter.D.Wintle

As a Man Thinketh

"Mind is the Master power that molds and makes,
And Man is Mind, and evermore he takes
The tool of Thought, and, shaping what he wills,
Brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills.
He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass:
Environment is but his looking glass."

By James Allen

‘As a man think in his heart, so is he.’ Proverbs 27:3 is the substance of both poems. In ‘Thinking’, Wintle clearly stated that ‘It’s all in the state of the mind’. When he wrote the word ‘mind’, which part of ‘mind’ was he referring to? Was it a cognitive or psychological state of the mind? Was it a conscious or unconscious awareness? Or perhaps the soul of one which consist of both elements? If it is the ‘soul’, why would he not use ‘soul’ instead? The answer lies therein the versus of the poems. The word ‘you’ is repeated nineteen times, this proves that Wintle was in fact pointing at the reader’s essence – the heart and soul of the readers. From here, what controls humans heart and soul other than ones ‘mind’ itself? Therefore, the author used ‘mind’ to describe the state of our thinking and our thoughts. I would like to clarify that ‘mind’ is not to be separated with ‘soul’ here, but what the author was emphasizing in is the word ‘mind’ not soul for reasons as above. As for the second poem, Allen highlighted on the same essence as Wintle, which is ‘Mind’. ‘Man is Mind’ at the second sentence were in large capital, justified that he too, is emphasizing on humans mind. The images that both poets used were relatively directive descriptions, where readers are able to ‘view’ the illustrations in every verse easily in their mind. The expressive language in Allen’s poem made it more poetic compared to Wintle’s ‘Thinking’. In ‘As a Man Thinketh’ it contains a very classical taste of Shakespearean English, which made it alluring to an English major. Although the lines of the poem is simply short, in reality it bears much weightage than what it seems to be. Simple yet compact; easy yet difficult to digest; common sense yet significantly oblivious to the unsearching are the depiction of ‘As a Man Thinketh’.

Wintle used the word ‘you’ to relate readers to his poem, it draws readers to share his writing as if he was writing to them personally. ‘You've got to think high to rise, You've got to be sure of yourself before You can ever win a prize’ are the few examples from the poem. ‘You’ is a strong word that makes a reading relevant to readers. Wintle’s intention to composed this poem may be his way to encourage or advice people around him, hence the persona of his work is considerably appropriate. In the poem, he included ‘we’ in ‘For out of the world we find’ as if Wintle was saying that we are in the same boat facing the same realities. On the other hand, Allen used ‘He’ which is repeated thrice, as a third person point of view. ‘He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass’ is found in his work. When Allen used ‘he’, Allen is referring to those who act similarly as the persona in his poem. Gender is not an issue here, whether the reader is a he or she, for ‘he’ is a general figure of speech for both genders in this poem. Somehow, Allen’s persona fits his poem, if he was to use ‘You’, it would be a very insulting poem. A revised verse such as ‘You think in secret, and it comes to pass.’ will not be a well-accepted poem. Hence, the suitability of using ‘He’ is a proper persona.

In ‘Thinking’, anaphora is used noticeably in the first three stanzas. ‘If you think’ is repeated in every stanza except the last one. The repetition yields attention to the message Wintle was conveying. It all began with ‘If you think’, and the rest of the following action depended on the starting point of ‘If you think’. In addition, ‘If you think’ familiarize readers of what to expect in the next verse. Wintle also implied the use of metonym speech in his poem. ‘Life's battles’ here is not literally interpreting life’s wars, where blood and fights are involved, but it is to describe the actual concept of life’s challenges and obstacles. Metonym is applied to substitute the non-literal sense of the actual word which brings more variation to the language use in the poem. Allen’s poem painted a personifying verse where substances such as ‘mind’, ‘thought’ and ‘environment’ are animated traits with feelings. Personification is practiced here to carry different types of flavor into the poem. "Mind is the Master power that molds and makes” does sound like ‘Mind’ is a person. The other evident figure of speech use by Allen is the hyperbole, where he exaggerated his statement of ‘a thousand joys, a thousand ills.’ Not only did it dramatized the poem, it managed to captured reader’s attention to what Allen was trying to represent. What ‘joys’ and ‘ills’ were he indicating at? That is left for readers to interpret. The usage of figures of speech in both poems were to attract readers, to bait readers to read and comprehend what the poets were trying to convey. They were to bring a mixture of notion to the poem, making it more engaging and fascinating to grasp.

“Poetry lifts the veil from the hidden beauty of the world, and makes familiar objects be as if they were not familiar.” By Percy Bysshe Shelley. Truly, the raison d'être of poetry is to connect people with traits or objects that are seemingly familiar in their daily lives. Too many times, we missed the beauty of things around us, if not for poetry, these elements of beauty would have been bygones that are untrievable. Poetry allows one to admire, ponder, and wonder at its decoration of the words and the meanings behind it.